How and why to ask "Where are you in your cycle?"

My Moon Magic supports all things Meditation + Women's Health. This interesting topic is about a life-changing question that was normalized for me in a course called Embody Your Flow by Cree Cox. At the beginning of every menstrual cycle education class, each woman would share...

Vulnerable, right?! But so very liberating and educational. I don't regularly ask women about their cervical positioning or fluid but I do ask all of my friends and clients "Where are you in your cycle?" and share where I am in mine to create the best experiences. ​

"If you want to understand women, learn to understand the menstrual cycle. Let's face it, women are governed by hormones and this is not a bad thing!

It is actually quite BEAUTIFUL and PROFOUND. 

There is a common misunderstanding that women are 'unpredictable' or 'unreliable' because of this. While I can see why that is commonly misunderstood, it is not ultimate Truth, with a capital T.  It comes from a deeper underlying problem, we have not been taught about a woman's cyclical nature and we live in a culture that does not
​support it."  - Cree Cox, Embody Your Flow

Here's why...

​There was a woman in the class who seemed like a different person each week. One week she was energetic, hyper and silly. The next she seemed introverted and quiet. Since she was sharing where she was in her menstrual cycle, I was able to identify how her personality shifted with her hormones. It was amazing! It was the first time that I got to SEE and give myself permission to BE the multifaceted cyclical being that I am learning to be.  When I shared this insight with her, it was even more beautiful. She expressed that she had struggled with feeling like many different people in one body and with upholding who other people expected her to be. Ohhhh freedom though Menstrual Cycle Awareness! 

For women in their bleeding years, each phase of the menstrual cycle has a different energy, strength and nuance that we can honor for each other. Check out the overview of each phase below to get a better idea of what you and your friends, colleagues and family members may be better at in certain phases. 

like the Moon

you too gently influence
those around you without even trying.

- spirit daughter

For example: If a friend asks for advice in her Luteal Phase, I will tread lightly on criticism as her own inner critic is already cranking and this can be a wonderful time to reassess things but not necessarily understand what the next step is just yet. 

Another example: I may meet with a more extroverted friend when she is nearing her Menstrual Phase so that her Ovulation energy doesn't overwhelm me and I can access the more introverted and intuitive experience of her. 

​The Menstrual Phase: Rest

• Lasts 3-7 Days.
• Begins when you start bleeding. That is Day 1 of your new cycle. 
• You may want to detach, surrender, restore, receive, journal and vision. 
• You'll become aware of what's not working in Luteal and surrender to that here in order to plant seeds of intention for your next cycle. 
• Make a Bleed List where you'll take note of the things you don't want to do right now but will utilize Ovulation + Luteal energy for this cycle. ​

The Follicular Phase: Plan + Experiment

• Lasts 7 - 10 Days. 
• Begins when you stop bleeding.
• Your hormones very slowly increase to support Ovulation.
• You may feel like a newly-hatched chick; tender, innocent, curious and playful. 
• ​Your instinct to connect with others in renewed. Experiment with new ideas here. ​

Ovulation: Open Up

• Last 3-4 Days. 
• Begins with a dramatic rise in Estrogen, followed by Lutenizing Hormone.
• ​Feeling social and energetic, certainly outwardly focused. Your charm is turned ON!
• Be in the flow here, follow your intuition and attract all that you desire. ​

The Luteal Phase: Get things done + Release

• Lasts 10-14 Days between Ovulation and Menstruation. 
• Your Estrogen, Progesterone and Testosterone are at their highest before dropping to their lowest before you bleed. (This is where my Healthy Period Brownies come to the rescue)
• You may feel a natural desire to finish up projects, turn inward and start to nest. 
• The second half of this phase is called Deep Luteal and feels like the urge to separate from all the to-dos.  This is when the 'inner critic' is the loudest to clean up lose ends, you become the truth teller and much more discerning. ​

​@Tantric.Alchemy says "What arises for you just before you bleed (physical pain, emotional chaos) are not to be ignored or masked over with a pain killer or avoidant strategy. They need to be felt fully & wholly." After reading the book, Woman Code by Alisa Vitti, I realized that as women, we are not meant to be in pain and suffer. These symptoms are our bodies speaking to us, asking for things to be different. The book Wild Power by Alexandra Pope and Sjanie Hugo Wurlitzer further empowers women in every phase of their menstrual cycle - check them out and let me know if you have any questions. 

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Demystifying and empowering our cyclical nature in conversation flows easily for me now  that I'm surrounded by others who are normalizing the discussion. I hope to shine light on that for you as well. This is only an overview; for more information, read the books Woman Code and Wild Power. Please comment or connect with any questions. ​

Check out my Menstrual Disclaimer on the FAQ to see how I honor my Divine Feminine cyclical nature every day. 

All of the intention-magnifying My Moon Magic mala beads in the Shop are designed to support women through their phases of life, their menstrual cycles and beyond. Reach the stone meanings and reach out with any questions and inspiration.